Mo - get your fingers out of my eyes!

"Horseshit!" the other attorney said. I thought the telephone must be bad - so I listened a bit more carefully. Again the word "horseshit" bellowed out of the phone. That was the "legal" defense an opposing attorney was presenting to me after receiving my paperwork. He actually seemed angry at me for defending my client. I have seen a lot recently but this was new. Who knows, maybe the next thing I see will come straight out of a 3 stooges show. I file something to defend my client and someone conks me on the head with a mallet. Or maybe the thing that always made me smile - a blowtorch to the rear. If another attorney is going to act like a stooge, at least make me laugh !

The choice always belongs to the client

I have a handful of cases that are extremely high conflict. The two parties cannot speak to each other without blowing up. The attorneys do not get along. Dirty tricks are common.

These type of cases share several predictable qualities:

They take a long time
They cost a lot of money
They have the potential to damage children
They drain marital assets

I don't like high conflict cases. But I understand that clients need to depend on their attorney - especially during a high conflict case.

When there is no other choice I get very aggressive during these cases. I feel guilty when the charges to the client get really high. But the one thing I try to remember, what keeps everything in perspective is this: my client always has a choice to stop - and settle.

Beware - the attorney that shoots you in the foot during mediation

Mediation is mandatory in divorce cases. More important, mediation is the best chance you have of ending your case early and getting a good amount of what you want. The reality is that 95% of cases settle at mediation or slightly after mediation.

There are some attorneys that do not want your case to settle. They would rather stir up trouble and encourage you to fight on. In the end you will probably get a similar deal. But that similar deal will take an additional year and MANY thousands of dollars.

Attorneys don't always know best. You should take control of your case. If you sense your attorney is not settlement minded, I encourage you to get a new attorney. Because a non-settlement minded attorney is not working in your interest.

***** Just a note - I believe in fighting in the instances it is absolutely necessary for your case. But those cases are 1 in 100. If you have that 1 in 100 - make sure your attorney is prepared to put on a good fight.