If my job were that simple

Week after week goes by. I win some hearings, lose some, and there are a certain number where no one knows who won. I try to not allow the hearings to affect me. But if happens anyway. Sometimes I feel great and sometimes I feel there is a large knife slowly twisting in my stomach. There are some weeks where the stress of the week sends me home on Friday with a feeling that I am hollow inside, devoid of the capability of having human feelings. Sometimes that bothers me because that is the way many people see attorneys - and it is not a complement they are paying us. Recently, someone commented attorneys are like "used car salesmen." But that probably is not true because used car salesmen have more simplicity in their lives. If my job were only that simple.

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Some of us become psychotic

I recently had a short stint on a unique case. The opposing party was one of the more prominent attorneys in Florida. On the surface she was as smooth as silk. Her presentations in court - excellent. Just below the surface - she was a mess. There was an honest admission she was on a variety of meds for anxiety and depression. She could not speak to me without shaking. In a private discussion, I began to wonder if I would find a knife blade in my chest.

I have to wonder if this is a profession where we sacrifice ourselves and our sanity to give clients a second chance at life. I am very careful about myself. I have seen too much and do not want to become one of the people I pity.